Not Always Uplifty (Especially A Year Into A Pandemic) & That's OK

Hello all.
I hope today finds you as happy as you can muster during these uncertain times. 

Do you hate that term as much as I do? I'm sorry. I don't know why I used it. I won't do that again. 😕

Recently I have been stuck in a mildly depressive funk* and I wrote about it in a previous post. I received a comment from someone in response to that post in which the person wrote 'thanks for being so uplifting' with what I deduced might have been an itsy bit of sarcasm, and accompanied by the statement being punctuated with abundance of exclamation marks (!!!!!!!) which can sometimes come across as being shouted particularly when more than one is used.

THANKS FOR BEING SO UPLIFTING!!!!!!!

Ha ha, I'm having fun with it although I am hoping that the commenter wasn't really yelling at me because there's nothing I can do to change about being in a funk and not being very uplifty right now. 

See, I write from my real life.
Sometimes in my real life the things I write about might be happy, funny, weird, sardonic, sad, ridiculous, depressing, self-deprecating, etc. 
Am I uplifting and encouraging at times? Yes.

All the time? No. I'm an actual person with various moods, emotions, etc. 
Am I filled with a bunch of nonsense? Regularly. I use humor in all aspects of my life because

(a) what's better than laughing?, and

(b) humor is a fantastic coping tool when sh*t gets real (see resources below and image above).

I do not subscribe to the idea of constant positivity because it's unrealistic, unsustainable, and also unrelatable, which may be the most important 'un' of the three. 

39 Days Until Spring + Everything's Stupid

I am not dealing well with winter this year which is quite surprising as I am usually a wintertime welcomer.

This year, though, I've been stuck in a pit of despair struggling more than usual and so being stuck indoors is not doing wonders for my fragile state of mind mood.

This morning I heard that springtime is 39 days away and I felt this sudden odd and foreign sensation that might have been hope but I'm not sure because I no longer really know what that feels like, which was then quickly followed by the crestfallen thought of how the hell am I supposed to get through the next 39 days even though I've now gotten through almost 12 months of what was supposed to be a 15-day pause.

The truth is that I don't need springtime; I just need it to not be 20°(f) so that when I do go outside it doesn't make my lungs feel like they're going to explode. 

My mood has been so low lately that I have resorted to looking things up on the internet like How To Cope With Winter During A Pandemic and Wintertime Mood Lifters While Traversing A Worldwide Plague and Happy Activities When Pretty Much Everything Sucks.  Not surprisingly, I have not found anything very helpful in reading such things as it does nothing for my mood to consider following their suggestions such as getting up off the couch to go alphabetize my spices or starting a new home-based fitness routine via free YouTube videos. The only real exercise I'm getting lately and seem capable of is lifting my hand to my mouth to shove food into it.

note:  the above meme is meant to be lighthearted  

HandyCam Fun

So I bought a video camera.

A few reasons why...

1. I love filming stuff. I love making goofy little movies, proof of which is on my new YouTube channel. Creating movies using various software is crazy fun for me. I love messing around with different kinds of technologies and so using software to make short films - getting the sequence right, adding music, special effects - is such great brain food for me.

2. I hate cell phones. Oh sure, they're useful and despite my aversion to them I can't deny even my own reliance on them...but I hate them for doing creative things, especially movies. For such purposes, they're terribly awkward and cumbersome. Also, I don't like walking around with a phone in my face and I am most definitely not a selfie stick kind of person. 
3. My new little camera fits nicely in the palm of my hand using the side strap that's part of its design and it weighs just a few ounces so the cumbersome factor is non-existent.

4. It's an excuse to get out of the house and go on more adventures and document things and places.

5. I like the old school factor. Everyone is using their iphones and apps for iphones and I'm over here with my $200 video camera. This gives me lots of satisfaction.

6. Capturing scenes like this one that just happened outside my front door: