Very quietly, we listed our house, bought another, and moved...all within about 2.5 months.
The dust isn't settled yet; we're in the new house (in South Jersey) but we're still moving the leftover stuff out of the old house (Toms River/NJ Shore).
I'm exhausted and exhilarated at the same time.
This is a big move; one that we didn't exactly plan for but that became necessary due to circumstances.
JP has been commuting back and forth across the state since September when he transferred to his new position so that's been ridiculous. And when my mother & aunt died a few months ago, that was the final straw. We had moved to Toms River to be closer to both of them; there was no need to stay there now that they were gone.
So the decision was made and then things happened quickly. What I mean by big move is that it's a move that is a complete lifestyle change. We moved from a county (Ocean) with a population of 600,000 (not including summer tourists which makes the population explode)...to a county (Salem) with 60,000 people. A 90% reduction in chaos.
As someone with a very strong aversion to anything loud, crowded, overpopulated, traffick-y...moving to Salem County is a balm for my beat up soul.
There are trade-offs, of course, to living in the least populated place in the state. Everyday conveniences aren't very close by (an example of that became evident when we needed to fill a prescription but found out that the pharmacy at the local Walgreen's does not have weekend hours.)
There are no Target stores close by, for example, and our Walmart is just regular, not Super.
None of that matters to me as I'm not much for shopping anyhow and I don't want to design my life around where I can shop.
The past two years have taken a huge toll on me. I knew that to be true while I was in the middle of everything that comes with a dying mother and a dysfunctional family while living in an overcrowded place that gave me panic attacks every time I went anywhere. What I didn't know was the extent of the toll it took and actually didn't find out until after my mother died and I closed the door on the dysfunction. Then BAM! it all hit me. It was as if I were holding myself mostly frozen for two years, perpetually holding my breath for all that time as the hits kept coming.
Once I started to exhale, to thaw from being in that frozen state...well, that's when the damage became evident and it was worse that I had suspected.
Now it's time to work on healing in this new space where there is no static, where uncrowded roads like the one pictured above are abundant and I can relearn how to be more in tune with the things that matter.
I'm excited.
