New House Semi Move-In Day & Anxiety Fun

I should've been doing this all along through our new house journey and all the ups and downs that came with that...plus the multitude of other turmoils that have been happening simultaneously.  It probably would have helped with the stress and angst if I'd been writing about throughout but, oh well, I'll just start now and going forward will tell the story backwards, I guess.

Today we are moving the important furniture from old house to new house which means that I will transition from living in one place to (mostly) living in another place. 

So, a whole bunch of new-ness.

All week I've been excited for this. I've been packing feverishly and chomping at the bit to get to the new house.  I excitedly put in my change of address for the post office to forward mail starting Monday. I ordered a new toaster and a new tablecloth for the patio table the previous owner of the new house left behind.  I was oddly really excited about the new toaster 😁

Today? The day it's actually happening? The day I get to set up my new toaster on my new counter?

Completely filled with anxiety and what if's. 

Man, I hate the what if's...but my brain seems to adore them.

Also, no matter how tired I've been every day, I've been waking up at 4-4:30am with no chance of going back to sleep.

Exhaustion and anxiety.  Yay.

Next week I will be mostly at the new house, unpacking stuff but mostly just resting a lot and trying to start the reset after months of high anxiety.

Overdue Small Update

Will I ever write consistently on this blog?  Who knows. Life got chaotic, again, then I got overwhelmed which renders me frozen and I can't do much of anything so the calendar pages

 

 

fly by and nothing gets posted here. 

I'm currently thawing but I'd like to think I'll be unfrozen very soon.  Writing this today is a step in that direction.

The chaos?  Both the good and bad kind.

The big news is that we bought a house.
Or, a second house.
A second house that will eventually be our only house.
The plan is to keep our current house in NJ and transition slowly to the new house in DE, dividing our time between the two places for the immediate future. 

This is all very exciting and great and wonderful, while also being scary and did I mention scary?

I don't know why I'm scared. I guess it's because I'm usually scared of everything, thanks to having an anxiety disorder.  I've come to realize that it's really, really hard for me to be happy about anything because my anxiety likes to ruin everything for me by switching on the part of my brain that stores all the what if's.

It is not fun, having this kind of brain, by the way.

And I am actually very much looking forward to moving out of NJ and getting back to DE even though it's bittersweet to leave NJ - a place that I love so dearly. 

Like so many others, we're leaving NJ because we're getting priced out; that is to say that the state of NJ and its ridiculous property taxes is just too expensive.  Example: NJ house property tax is 8K, while the DE house is $1200.  Similiarly sized houses.



The area that we're moving to is sort of rural and farm-y, and it's close to the beaches on one side and the Chesapeake area on the other.  I won't run out of things to do and places to visit. Not too shabby.

If only I could shut off the all the what if's that keep popping up, putting a damper on what is a very exciting time.

Part of the getting unfrozen plan is to get back to doing some of the things I used to be passionate about.  Making videos is one of those things and I'm hoping to document the chaos of having two houses, the slow transfer of too much stuff from one to the other, and all the in-between things.

Stay tuned.