Still Winter Cranky + Trying Not To Be A Germophobe + Jeepsy

Remember about a month ago, when I last posted and said that I was "Winter Cranky".

Well, I still am.

Only it might be worse than it was a month ago and here's why:

Unbelievably, after having the flu in December that ruined the holidays and dragged on for more than two weeks, I got sick again in January. 
It started off as a head cold and quickly morphed into a raging sinus infection that still won't quit, two weeks later.

This picture of me shows you how I've been feeling thanks to my sinuses.

I am not a good sick person.  I don't like to sleep, I don't like to be idle, I don't like feeling like crap. I become excessively irritable and snappy, and my already overly impatient personality goes Defcon 1.
I can handle 1-2 days of being sick and then I am over it (mentally) so you can imagine my mood after being sick now for the better part of two months.  

To make matters worse, my anxiety-driven avoidant personality has kicked in and I have made the decision to not go out into public for the forseeable future.  Everyone seems to be sick and the CDC weekly sick map shows my area to be in the deep red, 'very high' status for flu and a bunch of other germ-y illnesses.  There were a few days where I was even freaking out if JP got too close to me, as if he were a 6'2" germ-ridden petri dish.

I can develop phobias within a matter of days and I recognized that my distress over being sick again was causing me to get a little bit germ-related hysterical and that if I didn't reel it in I was going to be in big trouble so that's what I've been doing as I very slowly heal from this sinus thing:  working on not being afraid of being near my husband who may or may not be carrying some germs. 

I still am resolute in not going out in public, though.  I wonder if that will turn into a phobia? 

I should mention that my extreme over-reaction to getting sick a second time is due in very large part to the fact that I became ill during the trauma anniversary of when my lungs collapsed in 2009.  Every year I struggle with that 10-day period (1/18-1/28) that is the anniversary of being in ICU, having a chest tube inserted without anesthesia, etc.  That event is a significant part of my C-PTSD; specifically the medical part of it.

Some years during those ten days I'm mostly a-okay; I just get quieter and keep things very low-key during those ten days because if I don't do that, things can spiral pretty quickly.  The big thing is being physically healthy during that time period so you can imagine the distress I felt when I got sick this year on 1/21.  Not good, not good at all.

But it's time to go forward now. 
Although the things I'm diagnosed with will often come up as I talk and write about my life, I try very hard to not make them the forefront of my life. 

One of the bigger parts of being sick in December and January is that I've only driven my new Wrangler - appropriately named 'Jeepsy' - a handful of times!  I got it in mid-December and then it was sickness, arctic cold, snowstorm, more arctic cold, sickness again.  

I was so hesitant about buying Jeepsy because I hate car payments and I mostly hate new cars with all their complicated bells & whistles. I still deeply regret selling my 2006 Jeep Grand Cherokee even though it was time to do so before it started to cost too much to maintain it.  But that 2006 vehicle was so not fussy and it had knobs instead of push buttons and I loved how uncomplicated it was.
JP, though, really wanted me to have Jeepsy and wanted to buy it for me for our anniversary.
Being that he works for a Jeep dealership he was able to get it at an amazingly low price so after a lot of back and forth I gave in and he went forward with buying it and the only thing that made me not hyperventilate about that purchase was that I knew we could always sell it if I hated it.

Well, I don't hate it.
In fact, I'm madly in love with it.  It's the fourth Wrangler I've owned and I'm really not sure why I've ever NOT owned Wranglers because they are my perfect vehicle. And while this one does have some bells & whistles, it still has knobs and the Wrangler feel.

Years ago I had an official license plate that read WNDRLST. I wanted to get that plate again for this Jeep but unfortunately Delaware has suspended custom license plates because some lady sued them and that lawsuit resulted in ruining it for everyone no one being able to get custom plates. 
So I did the next best thing and designed a custom front plate...

Also, did I mention how much fun it is to be back to doing the Jeep wave again?