Watercolor journaling has taken over my life!
I've been struggling with the kind of depression that lets me function but not in a high functioning kind of way and as a result I've no interest in many of the activities that I used to love.
Except when it involves having a paintbrush or marker in my hand.
A lot of the time I still struggle with finding the motivation to start a new journal piece or paint an ornament that I'll leave on a park bench for someone to find...but once I find the will to force myself to start, it's easy for me to lose myself in it again.
Oh, I know my watercolor artwork isn't great and I don't care one bit. Because it's fun. Really fun. And calming. And some of the stuff I'm coming up with is amusing the heck out of me and, right now, while I'm living with bleakness, I'll take whatever level of happy I can get.
I have not been able to create any new photo art in a while because I can't get to the mental place* that fuels the creativity I need for it.
And - I can't lie about this - I hate when I spend a significant amount of time creating a new photo art piece and then I release it to the world via social media...and people just hit the like button and move on.
I need so much more interaction than that. I'm not saying I need adoration - that actually makes me uncomfortable; I'm saying that I want people to really look at the art and say something - anything - about it. Things like "this reminds me of _______" or "this makes me feel _____"...that sort of thing.
My lifelong affliction - craving connection.
Ironically, "social" media is actually not the place for that or, apparently, for people like me.
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*Medication is not an option because
(a) I hate taking medication, and
(b) I actually gave in and tried a few and had to come off them immediately because my system is "medication resistant".
