Neighborly Weekend

I decided to make a big batch of blueberry bourbon jalapeno bbq sauce this weekend and package it up to give to some of the neighbors who have been friendly-ish with us since we moved into this small, cul-de-sac development 15 months ago.

It's my way of reaching out, trying to be friendly and neighborly, especially since I am a hermit who doesn't actually leave the house all that much.  Also - and this will come as a shock to those who know me very well - I am extremely shy until I get to know someone pretty well.  The shyness has gotten much worse because of the psoriatric/lupus situation that has shown up all over my face making me look like a meth addict unless I wear heavy makeup which I don't often do or want to do.  Additionally, that situation has affected my teeth, making me doubly self-concious.  So I haven't really been out there, being as friendly as I normally would or could be.

Thankfully, JP is not the shy one in this relationship so he's the one who has mostly been doing the neighbor interaction thing, sort of like our own version of good cop/bad cop.  I'm the bad cop neighbor who is sitting in the house eating donuts while he's out there being the charming good cop neighbor to everyone.

 One of the main reasons we selected this house is because it's not one of those horrid new, treeless, giant developments - it's just one well-established, treed street with about 16 houses  - so we thought, finally, a real neighborhood.  Maybe one in which neighbors actually know and interact with each other.  Because we move around a lot, finding that kind of neighborhood has proven to be futile.  At this house, we were hopeful.  Hopeful, too, that maybe finally we'd found the neighborhood that wouldn't make us want to leave it after a couple of years, which is what we've been doing.  Don't judge; we move around because we like dabbling in real estate and because neither of us believes in staying put in a place for the sake of staying put especially when the place turns out not to be what you thought it would be.  JP has come around to accepting and even adapting my gypsy ways.  Now, he too spends his free time on Zillow.

I used to hate the idea of owning a house because it felt too permanent, too suffocating.  When I rented, my mantra was you can put up with anything for a year - a lease length. Then if you hated it you could just pack up and skedaddle. Like the gypsies who move on when the wind changes.  My mindset has changed a bit since we started buying and selling houses - I like the part of home ownership that allows me to do what I want, when and how I want.  But I still hate the nightmare of what goes in to buying and selling.

Sometimes I kind of envy those people who stay put in one place for decades but I don't possess that gene. 
And although I remain hopeful, I've yet to find the place that could finally make me want to settle and alter my wanderlust gene.

However!  If suddenly this became a neighborhood where, let's say, our neighbors invited us over for a hamburger on their deck on a balmy summer evening, my mindset might change. Alas, there have been no hamburger invitations in these past 15 months.  We talk about inviting neighbors to our house, but as the new kids on the block, that feels awkward and maybe even forced at this point.  The last thing we want is anyone coming over for good food, good drinks, good conversation and laughs because they feel obligated to. God forbid.  And, God forbid too, what if there's small talk!?!

Yesterday, while handing out the blueberry sauce, I sensed a little bit of awkwardness with a spattering of wariness (not from the one neighbor who hugged me) from one or two neighbors.  Handing out homemade stuff or holiday gifts to neighbors is not new to me; I've been doing this for years* but there's always that hesitancy from some of the neighbors, like they're unsure what to do when a neighbor is...well, neighborly.  What a shame that is.  We should all be doing nice things for each other even if that's as simple as waving hello (you know who you are, neighbor who pretends to be studying the trees instead of waving when you see me) or, um, not letting your dog run loose to poop on my lawn.
No matter where I live, I'm always going to be neighborly. I'm always going to gift bbq sauce or cookies or whatever to my neighbors because I love the idea of surprising people and maybe uplifting them a little bit.  I'm not doing it so that they'll include us or decide to organize a block party (how awesome would that be?!) or a friendsgiving. I'm doing it because I like to give, I like to make people happy, and I love doing all of that when someone least expects it.  One time we gave out gift bags to neighbors for Christmas and then days later some of the recipients gave us presents.  You could tell it was an "oh, snap, we have to give them something now" kind of thing.  Ugh.  That's not what this is all about at all. We don't give so that we expect you to give back.
You give when/if the spirit moves you, not because you feel obligated to or want something in return.

Anyhow, it's hot and terrible outside and there's not a lot to do but hide inside so if you're bored maybe you might want to whip up some blueberry bbq sauce and give it to your neighbors, so here's the recipe.
And don't worry if they think you're weird for being nice.

Trust me, it's worth it...because in giving to them, you're actually also rewarding yourself. 

 
And who knows might come about from it - maybe even a hamburger.

*It all started in North Carolina when I was a little kid of about 10.  I baked a chocolate birthday cake for our Pilot Mountain neighbor, Mr. Taylor, and he was so touched that he shed a tear or two.  That's when I learned the power and reward of being neighborly.