Birthday Recap

So yesterday, 10/29. was my birthday.

We don't need to talk about the number but suffice to say that it was a milestone birthday. 

Initially I wanted the actual day and days surrounding it to be "epic", whatever the heck that means.
But then as it drew closer I started realizing that nothing I could do, no place I could go, no experience I could have, would replace what I already have: people I love unconditionally who love me back unconditionally and who would not dream of not making sure they were with me to insure that I had a special day.

My circle is small. My husband, daughter, and her fiancè. Oh, I have more people than that who I am related to or acquainted with but there's a whole lot of weirdness and off-the-chart dysfunction that keeps them from enjoying what we have to offer. See, our house is full of love and fun and generosity and good food and regularly the kind of laughter that makes you scream because your stomach hurts from it. Sure, we might piss each other off from time to time but in our small circle we resolve issues instead of using them to harden our hearts and let bitterness take hold of our souls. No matter what though, we show up for each other. I am not related to or know a lot of people who relate to that or adhere to that edict.
And, boy, are they missing out. We have a lot to offer to those we care about.

Anyway, here is something else that defined my milestone birthday:

I secretly harbored a hope that my friend - whom I have been friends with since 7th grade - would show up at my doorstep to surprise me on my birthday weekend.

When I told my husband I was going to run out for some shopping on Saturday, the day before my birthday, he very uncharacteristically said I should stay home instead. He cited traffic and reminded me of how much I disliked weekend shopping because that's when everyone was out, overcrowding places.
After more back and forth, I finally asked him what was really going on. He told me that there was a delivery coming but would say nothing more beyond saying that the delivery was not from him
.
I deduced that the delivery was going to actually be my friend, driving the two hours to surprise me, especially since we had driven those same two hours for their milestone birthday.
Afterall, if it was just a delivery of something why did I have to be home for it, as my husband was insisting? Couldn't he just accept the delivery while I was out? I figured they were all in cahoots behind my back to surprise me.

So I set to work cleaning the house just in case my suspicion was correct and since I didn't want to wind up feeling stupid, telling myself that if I was wrong at least I'd have a clean house.

There is a fall wreath hanging on our front storm door. If someone is outside at that door, all you can see is the bottom half of them as the wreath obscures their upper body.
I had let the dog out and was standing on the back patio watching her when I heard someone knock on the front storm door. 
I ran inside and saw the bottom half of a person standing on my front steps and I could see that the person was holding a gift bag and balloons.
My friend is here! I thought, with a happy skip of my heartbeat.
I opened the door...

only to find an elderly delivery man holding some flowers in one hand and balloons and a small gift bag* in the other.

It hit then, really a little bit hard. Friend is not coming.

And then hit hard again a little while later when another delivery person showed up, this time with a cake, also sent from friend.

Turns out the thing I was right about is that I did not, in fact, have to be home for the deliveries (friend had told my husband & daughter to make sure I was home for them - all of us now unsure why friend couldn't have just stated that someone should be there to accept deliveries).

Did I wind up feeling dumb for cleaning my house with a hopeful heart? Yes, I did. Mixed with a little bit of embarrassment for being naive.

I'm not ungrateful. The deliveries were very nice.
But there is nothing that can be delivered to your doorstep that will ever take the place of someone you care for showing up on that same doorstep to say "I wouldn't miss sharing this with you for anything."

Isn't that the thing we all want most?

Life is so short. Birthdays are one day out of 365. One day that is someone's very own special day.
364 days to plan for it.
Don't miss that for them. Make the drive. Show up on their doorstep if you can.

Think about the look that will be on their face when they open their door and find you standing there.

Think about making this happen: 

 

*1st delivery man delivered flowers, birthday balloons, and a bag with a tiny box of candy.